so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize