Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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