He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize