Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
