Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
