Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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