are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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