Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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