Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
