playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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