before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
