god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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