Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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