You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
