they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
