Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
