Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
