don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
