You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
