as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
