Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
