worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
