absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize