Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sobbing to NWA
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
