all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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