According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
