every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
