why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
