Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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