Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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