Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
