If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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