OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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