Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
