Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
