someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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