I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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