i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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