Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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