Christians are straight up FREAKS
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
