i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
