Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the condom got lost in my hair
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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