Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
