we made out on top of his cat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
