I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
