If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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