can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
