ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize