I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
