I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
