so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
