what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
