I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
