I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize