I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is my gift to your gina
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
