I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
