Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
