We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will be naked everywhere
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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