I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
